|We’ve provided a summary of key changes but here’s what you can expect:|
|•Terms that are clearer and easier to understand with useful links to help you navigate YouTube and better understand our policies.•Expanded commitments to notify you about changes that may affect you, such as product updates or future changes to the Terms; and•Better alignment between our Terms and how YouTube works today.|
|The new Terms will take effect on 10 December, 2019. Please make sure you read the updated Terms carefully. If you would like more information, you can find additional information in our Help Center.|
|If you allow your child to use YouTube Kids, then please note that you are agreeing to the new Terms on behalf of your child as well.|
|You can always review your privacy settings and manage how your data is used by visiting your Google Account.|
|Thank you for being part of the YouTube community!|
As CNN noted, “Biden has long enjoyed close ties to labor groups and often attributes his political ascent to unions, referring to them as the ones who ‘brung me to the dance.’” But while Biden’s strength among working-class voters is one reason some observers see him as potentially able to win back Democrats who defected to Donald Trump in 2016, his initial comments about the IAFF endorsement at least raise a question about priorities and strategy.
Biden was born in 1942 and was first elected to the Senate in 1972. Unions were a strong economic force then, and they carried significant political clout, with large, politically active memberships and financial muscle. But the percentage of American workers belonging to unions peaked in the mid-1940s and has been falling ever since.
San Francisco Supervisor Sandra Lee Fewer denounced the 2,000-member police union with her middle fingers raised.
San Francisco, CA – A San Francisco Board of Supervisors member led a crowd in a profanity-laced chant against the local police union during an election party on Tuesday night (video below).
The event was being held in honor of public defender Chesa Boudin, who is vying for the San Francisco District Attorney’s seat, the San Francisco Chronicle reported.
At one point during the boisterous gathering, San Francisco Supervisor Sandra Lee Fewer took the stage with her middle fingers raised and began yelling “f–k the POA!” video footage showed.
“Hey, so I just got one thing to say, which is ‘f–k the POA,’” Fewer shouted, according to the San Francisco Examiner. “San Francisco, this is what we get when we throw the f–k down. This is the city where we elect a public defender to be our district attorney. What we start here, the nation follows. So, look out.”
People in the crowd chanted along with her, denouncing the nearly 2,000-member San Francisco Police Officer’s Association (POA), the San Francisco Chronicle reported.
Footage of the supervisor’s outburst was shared widely on social media.
On Wednesday, POA President Tony Montoya sent a letter to Fewer, demanding that she apologize for her “unhinged attack” on the city’s police force.
Montoya said Fewer’s “hate-filled comments and unstable behavior” were “offensive and unbecoming of an elected official.”
“By leading a public chant of ‘F@%k the POA,’ you stoke anger against our members who already perform a dangerous job every day to protect our residents,” the union president railed. “You show, by example, that it is acceptable to verbally assault officers.”
Montoya accused the supervisor of making police officers’ jobs even more dangerous.
“When you lead a profane verbal attack on the SFPOA, you are in fact attacking San Francisco’s police officers,” he declared. “You should be ashamed, and you owe every hardworking member of the SFPOA an apology.” https://defensemaven.io/bluelivesmatter/news/video-san-francisco-supervisor-leads-chant-of-f-k-the-police-union-EuWuuUq6c0O5Fqv92LTEJA/?fbclid=IwAR3uo3O2aV0VzMyYmoJw8WDAdkhLZzthf1X3LCkFwynmhAlAYmYgJeW1Ups
It is patently obvious just how little President Donald Trump likes dogs. For starters, he often calls people dogs as an insult — he’s used it against everyone from former White House adviser Omarosa Manigault Newman to Kristen Stewart to Mitt Romney, regardless of the facts that (1) dogs are very good boys and girls, and (2) it’s just not a very imaginative thing to say about someone. There is also no record of the Trumps owning dogs in New York City, though there are a lot of photos of the now-president awkwardly holding the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show winners. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/05/opinion/trump-military-dog.html
Here the Proof:
What are the dog day of summer:
1. The dog days or dog days of summer are the hot, sultry days of summer. They were historically the period following the heliacal rising of the star system Sirius, which Greek and Roman astrology connected with heat, drought, sudden thunderstorms, lethargy, fever, mad dogs, and bad luck.
used to describe a situation in which people will do anything to be successful, evenif what they do harms other people:It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. Thesaurus: synonyms and related wordsCompeting and contending (non-sporting)
- go in for sth
- keep up (with sb/sth)
- keep up with the Joneses idiom
- look to your laurels idiom
- snap at sb’s heels idiom
- try out for sth
3. What does mad dog mean?
Mad dog is slang term used to describe someone as “wild and crazy.” It is often used as a nickname or to describe a kind of mean stare.
It’s also slang for “cheap, high-alcohol wine,” referring to the brand MD 20/20 in particular.
4. what does mad hatter mean: Mad as a hatter” is a colloquial English phrase used in conversation to suggest (lightheartedly) that a person is suffering from insanity. … Dementia causes symptoms similar to madness and death often occurred with the accumulation of mercury in the body.
Mad Hatter The Character
The Mad Hatter is one of the most famous Disney characters ever to be imagined and portrayed on the big screen. He is not your typical character as his name suggests but over the years, he has become one of the most well-loved Disney personalities because of his quirkiness and peculiarity in nature.
The phrase mad as a hatter dates back to the early 19th century when fine hats were the talk of the town. As it symbolizes social status, the hat makers were taking a big health risk in producing such wonderful head pieces. In an effort to create fine felt hats, they would use a mercury-based compound in creating the hats.
The problem with this was that long-term exposure meant serious physical side effects. This would develop over time and come out in different forms. It can manifest in terrible mood swings, slurred speech, tremors, memory loss, and other neurological problems. This was where the term “mad as a hatter” originate from.
Hatter is quite fashionable and impossible to miss in the movie. He is a wild-eyed character with a bow tie on top of a strange suit. Of course, he wears a nice large hat with a card bearing the text “In this style 10/6.” It is the price tag of the hat which is indicative of his trade. This amounts to ten shillings and six pence.
In Hatter that seems to constantly annoy the young Alice was very much different from the more recent character. He took on the role of a guide and at times, a protector to the older Alice when she fell down the rabbit hole again. Together with the March Hare, they are in a never-ending tea party as punishment by Time when the Queen of Hearts found them guilty of trying to murder time.
In the latest installment Alice Through The Looking Glass, “Hatta” is again on the wrong side of the law for something he has yet to commit. What is surprising in this movie is that Alice does not seem to recognize him despite looking exactly the same.
As the name suggests, the mad hatter is a seemingly insane character that gives out riddles and dresses fashionably. His obsession with tea time as well as tea parties is a result of trying to sing for the Queen of Hearts where he was found guilty of murdering time. That and his endless conflicts with the Wonderland’s Queen has left him wondering about the passage of time.http://www.the-madhatters.co.uk/mad-hatter-character/
It is interesting to note that the character was never directly referenced as the Mad Hatter in the book. This was just a description by Cheshire the Cat when he tries to warn Alice in the forest. He mentioned that the hatter had a somewhat unstable frame of mind, thus, making him mad.
President Donald Trump met with several victims of the communist regimes of Vietnam, Cuba, Venezuela, and North Korea on Nov. 7, the National Day for the Victims of Communism.
Trump and several other White House officials, including his domestic policy assistant, Joe Grogan, met with the victims in the Oval Office to “honor the victims of communist regimes and help highlight the evils of communism,” said Judd Deere, White House deputy press secretary.
Nov. 7 marked 102 years since the Bolshevik Revolution in Russia, the first country that was taken over by communism.
Since then, communist regimes have caused more than 100 million unnatural deaths, excluding casualties of war, according to The Black Book of Communism.
“These movements, under the false pretense of liberation, systematically robbed innocent people of their God-given rights of free worship, freedom of association, and countless other rights we hold sacrosanct,” stated a Nov. 7 White House release.
“Citizens yearning for freedom were subjugated by the state through the use of coercion, violence, and fear.”
The individuals invited to the White House included Sirley Avila Leon, a Cuban refugee who in 2015 survived an assassination attempt by the communist regime’s secret police. The assailant cut off her arm and maimed her legs. She became a dissident advocating for regime change. She’s lived in Miami since 2016, according to Memory of Nations, a database of post-World War II life stories managed by Czech charity Post Bellum.
Venezuelan-born Daniel Di Martino also attended. He left the socialist country in 2016.
“My experience in a socialist country taught me that any country can go through what we experienced, and my goal is to stop it from ever happening again,” he says on his website.
Another guest was Nguyen Ngoc Nhu Quynh, a Vietnamese blogger known under her pseudonym, Me Nam (Mother Mushroom). She’s the coordinator of the Vietnamese Bloggers Network and has been arrested and physically assaulted for her criticism of the Vietnamese communist regime for corruption and human rights violations, according to Front Line Defenders, a human rights advocacy group.
The president also met Grace Jo, a North Korean defector whose father was tortured to death after he tried to bring food for his family from neighboring China. Her family tried to escape North Korea through China multiple times since she was a child, but each time were captured and returned. Her grandmother and younger brothers died of starvation, she told WTOP.
Trump is the first president to recognize National Day for the Victims of Communism. https://www.theepochtimes.com/trump-meets-victims-on-national-day-for-victims-of-communism_3140523.html?ref=brief_News&utm_source=Epoch+Times+Newsletters&utm_campaign=6e92ce66d9-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_11_07_06_23&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_4fba358ecf-6e92ce66d9-241094945
n epic battle is being waged on the left.
It’s not between Medicare for All nuts and Obamacare nostalgics.
It’s not even between the Green New Dealers and the Slightly Less Green Dealers.
It’s between feminists and transgenderists.
Radical, leftwing ladies—the “feminazis” of old—are mostly progressives, pro-abortion, and against basically everything mainline conservatives believe in. But! They are risking life and limb, career and reputation, for one simple reason: they’re not willing to surrender their own identities as biological women.
The pejorative term for these fearless females—I apologize for using it!—is TERF: trans-exclusionary radical feminists. Trans-lation: biological women who want to bar “transwomen” from traditionally female spaces.
Yes, there is a painfully long history behind the name. Yes, multifarious splinter factions have been skirmishing over it for the past few decades. Yes, I will spare you the details. Gender studies graduate students have produced enough paper on the subject—enough to fill a Dunder Mifflin warehouse.
The so-called TERFs refer to themselves as “gender critical.” Whatever the term, the definition is simple: these are women who believe (know!) that someone born female is different (wut!) from those born male who identify later as female (or who try to retcon themselves as female “all along”). They are women who claim a specific lived experience that maleborns do not and cannot have, no matter what they call the bits they want you to wax.
And no one is fighting harder against this madness than this small Sapphic army of radicals. They are on the front lines and taking fire. Last week, Canadian writer Meghan Murphy, a leading voice and editor of Feminist Current, gave a talk at a Toronto public library. Murphy has already been banned by Twitter, and despite hysterical outrage, the library allowed her to speak. The response was predictable. Video of the scene looks like the violent aftermath last month at the Minnesota Trump rally. The female attendees—mostly older, Lands-End-catalog types—were forced to run a frightening gauntlet as masked Antifa-type protestors screamed vile insults at them. In Canada!
Or take Camille Paglia, who is what my Grammy Hall would call a “real lesbian.” Camille, famous as the author of Sexual Personae, is an OG TERF—and was my cultural hero in college. As outraged younger (straight) feminists screamed at her for arguing that wasted girls at frat parties bore some responsibility for their actions, I sat rapt at several of her talks, in awe, vowing to temper my underage drinking. I didn’t succeed, of course—but Paglia never quit making heads explode. In 2017, she told the Weekly Standard “the cold biological truth is that sex changes are impossible. Every single cell of the human body remains coded with one’s birth gender for life.” This year, students at the college where she’s been teaching for decades rioted to get her fired.
Paglia is one reason why I withstood full-immersion progressivism while many (okay, all) of my classmates succumbed. Nowadays, as a grown-up Catholic straight, I may not be able to officially endorse or approve the full blown lesbo lifestyle. But today’s gender-critical lesbians demand respect: as nice straight ladies have caved in or gone woke, Paglia and company have become the thin pink line between our young daughters and the approaching horde of muscular Ma’ams coming to claim their sports scholarships, NCAA awards, and safe spaces.
One of the biggest online refuges for these women—gay and straight—is Gender Critical on Reddit, with over 45 thousand members. Spend a few minutes on it and you start to wonder if you are at a conservative Christian message board, if conservative Christians had anything to say about the culture.
On one top thread, users share their “Peak Trans” stories, which is their term for the thing that finally red-pilled them on the movement:
“Peak trans” is the event that made you say “no more.” You started out being supportive, or maybe just neutral on trans issues. You tried to understand, to digest, to ask questions…and then it happened. PEAK TRANS! Was it the first time you heard of the cotton ceiling? Was it being called “a “T*RF” for asserting that women are adult females? Was it the frenzy over Caitlyn Jenner’s heroism and bravery?
The “cotton ceiling” refers to the supposedly bigoted, “transphobic” refusal of lesbians to engage in penile intercourse with pre-op transwomen. “Cotton” (sigh) refers to women’s underwear—it must be “broken through,” just like the glass ceiling for corporate women. In 2012, Planned Parenthood Toronto (Oh, Canada!) actually held a workshop called “Overcoming the Cotton Ceiling: Breaking Down Sexual Barriers for Queer Trans Women.”
Which is ironic, since transwomen aren’t exactly clamoring for Planned Parenthood’s primary service. Take it away, Peak Trans:
Many of us accepted the claims of trans activists, wanting to be fair and non-exclusionary, until we really listened to what they were saying, and compared it to our own knowledge and experience. Can “woman” be just an identity, divorced from biology? Can penises be female? Should girls who don’t like dolls be treated with double mastectomies and lifelong hormones?
To many women, the idea that they are somehow the oppressor for refusing to agree to be essentially raped was the red pill. For this thought crime these women are threatened with violence online and IRL—harassed in public, spit on at Pride parades. Yes, a common threat maleborn transwomen make is to “rape TERFS.” I guess this proves women really are the same as men, since now women can rape you using their own penises. Imagine getting rape threats from a group of people you’ve been taught for years to support!
St. Agatha, Pray for Us
Looking for someone to blame for this sad state of affairs? Ask your wife to hand you a mirror. Feckless conservatives—know any?—utterly failed to conserve a culture in which girls and women could grow and thrive. If your teenage son refuses to satisfy the pre-op prom queen, enjoy watching every college admissions officer tear up his applications. If your teenage daughter sets the statewide sprinting record and fails to applaud the transwoman who strips her of the title, enjoy the character assassination to come. This is just the beginning. The locker rooms and the sporting arenas and the Olympic podiums and the scholarship spots—except for the ones rich celebrities reserve for their female offspring—will eventually be handed over to the maleborns.
In my darker moods, I admit, I salivate over this. I can’t wait to see all women’s sports, at every level from high school to pro, dominated by transwomen. What will mainstream liberals do when Serena Williams is sent into retirement by a white transwoman? Imagine the gold medal-heavy women’s U.S. track and field team, majority African-American, replaced in its entirety with transwomen, many of whom will likely be white. What will the left actually do when a superstar black female athlete is kicked off the podium by someone born a white man? Will “social justice” at last occupy the intersection of cognitive dissonance and self-owns?
A few sports may be immune: gymnastics, ice skating, things scored partially on high levels of feminine grace. But perhaps those sports will simply be cancelled as transphobic.
This is our near future.
Unless we rise to the standard set by the TERFS. Pray for these brave ladies! Support them. They need all the help they can get. Until further notice, they’re our only hope. Wanting a patron saint, I nominate Agatha of Sicily—breasts sliced off by an angry male mob for refusing to submit her mind and body to their demands.
O St. Agatha,
who withstood the unwelcome advances
from unwanted suitors,
and suffered pain and torture
for your devotion to Our Lord,
we celebrate your faith, dignity, and martyrdom.
Protect us against rape and other violations,
guard us against breast cancer
and other afflictions of women,
and inspire us to overcome adversity.
O St. Agatha, Virgin and Martyr,
mercifully grant that we who venerate your sacrifice,
may receive your intercession. https://americanmind.org/post/terf-wars-how-radical-lesbians-are-braver-than-you-are/
Stuck with a fixer-upper? It might be time to cut your losses.
Before you dedicate yourself to changing a man, take a look at these four types of men who are unchangeable. Chances are, the tiger you want to run through your “love of a good woman” rehab has no chance of ever changing his stripes.
There are four general categories of dating pain that you may encounter from different types of men. One is a potential salvageable, one is potentially dangerous, and two are projects that you could spend a lifetime on and get nowhere. Here’s the difference.
1. The Commitment Phobe
This is the guy who can’t comprehend settling down, but that doesn’t stop him from dating. He’s wired this way — commitment is PERMANENT and FOREVER, and you can NEVER get out of it. He can’t commit because what if he makes a mistake?
This guy can’t reconcile this in his mind so he gets involved, tries to settle down, but becomes increasingly fearful and anxious as the relationship progresses. When he can’t stand it anymore, he breaks up in order to relieve his anxiety.
You can spot him by ferreting out his relationship history wherein you will see a very long line of 1-to-3-year relationships that he always exits. Usually, a commitment-phobe changes only when he reaches a point of suffering that drives him into therapy, so you might be able to influence him by breaking up before he does. But that’s a long shot, one that’s painful for you, and highly risky emotionally. It’s best to move on and search for someone who is commitment-ready.
2. The Flake
This is the guy who always leaves you hanging — he cancels dates at the last minute, constantly changes his mind about what he wants, and runs hot and cold. One day he’ll text you 10 times and then nothing for a week.
The flake is usually unstable in other areas of life — job, career, friendships and even family. He lacks a clear sense of self, and he doesn’t know who he really is or what he wants out of life or relationships. He blows with the wind and, depending on his mood, you will hear from him or maybe not.
Here’s how to spot him: he asks for dates at the last minute, usually by text message instead of a phone call. He fails to nail down the details, leaving you wondering what time you’re getting together and where you’re going. He may even be very sweet, but you will never pin him down.
Frankly, he’s not worth the frustration. Flaky people bring drama and instability to your life. Run from this guy!
3. The Potential Stalker
This is the guy who “likes” every post or photo on your Facebook page (even the ones from 5 years ago) and wants your time and attention 24/7.The biggest problem with the potential stalker is that he’s fundamentally insecure. He fears being rejected or abandoned, and he puts out that vibe which eventually turns women off. He’s the opposite of what most women want (a man who is emotionally strong).
Here’s how to spot him: he wants way too much, way too soon. He wants to see you every day of the week and you just met. He can’t handle it if you say “not tonight.” The minute you try to push him away, he begins to act out, and sometimes that comes across as stalking behavior, but the danger is that it can escalate to violence if he’s really unbalanced.
The best thing to do is not get involved with him; you can’t rehabilitate him, and he’s potentially dangerous.
4. The Control Freak
This guy wants to do things his way and he may gradually push your friends and family away. The control freak operates from anxiety. He’s afraid of losing control, whether it’s of you, his own sense of mastery and control, or something that is valuable to him. If he starts pushing your friends and family out, he’s dangerous and not worth rehabilitating.
Here’s how to spot a control freak: he’s relentlessly picky and wants everything (big and small) done his way. If he’s ONLY controlling in small ways (i.e., he wants to load the dishwasher his way), perhaps try salvaging the relationship.
If you love him, offer reassurance from time to time. Hug him, tell him you love him. Be lighthearted about the little things he likes to control — don’t make them a big deal. If you think he’s a good guy and worth it, accept that it is a part of him. However, if he tries to run your life, especially in important ways like telling you to quit your job or dump a good friend (and he means it), you probably won’t be able to work it out.
Most of the guys I work with are good guys and NOT one of these types of men. And there are plenty of already great men out there waiting to meet you. The truth is good men don’t need rehabbing. The real goal is to attract one of the already great guys. https://www.yourtango.com/experts/nina-atwood/4-guy-types-rehab-or-not
A ‘Big Short’ Investor’s New Bet: Climate Change Will Bust the Housing Market
David Burt was one of the few who predicted the 2008 financial crisis. He’s gambling that history is going to repeat itself soon.
By Geoff Dembicki
Nov 1 2019, 11:25pm
In 2007, almost no one would admit what became obvious in hindsight: The housing market was on the brink of collapse and would take a good chunk of the U.S. economy along with it. Lenders were getting rich, giving home loans to people who couldn’t afford them, investment banks were making a killing by combining those shaky loans into securities, ratings agencies cashed in by certifying those securities as safe and millions of ordinary people got screwed when the whole thing came crashing down.
But David Burt saw it coming. The investor was a consultant at Cornwall Capital, the firm that shorted the subprime mortgage market and made $80 million as some of Wall Street’s biggest firms imploded around it. It was such a spectacular, farsighted bet against the conventional wisdom surrounding the housing market boom that Cornwall was profiled in Michael Lewis’s book The Big Short, and one of Burt’s colleagues was played by Brad Pitt in the movie adaptation. The thing, though, is that many of the risk factors leading up to the crash were fairly easy to spot if you weren’t earning massive profits dependent on ignoring them.
Now Burt thinks there could be another financial disaster growing inside the real estate market. But this time, the bubble is being inflated by climate change denial.
To understand the mechanics of this threat it helps to visualize the market for coastal real estate as a brand new condo tower on the beach. The foundations for this tower are built upon maps drawn by the federal government that seriously downplay the likelihood of sea-level rise and floods. The lower floors are filled with homeowners paying off mortgages on homes that could be chronically flooded within the next few decades. The penthouse is occupied by banks and other investors turning those mortgages into ever more complex investments. Though it’s hard to predict a specific event that knocks this tower to the ground—perhaps it could be a devastating $1 trillion Florida hurricane, or a stampede to the exits by investors once denial of climate dangers turns to fear—it’s clear to anyone paying attention that the entire structure is teetering in the ocean wind.
…Read more: https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/wjwyy9/a-big-short-investors-new-bet-climate-change-will-bust-the-housing-market
There is no doubt many unwise coastal or floodplain realestate developments are vulnerable to extreme weather. But is this really a climate change issue?
If the sea level was to abruptly rise by several metres, a lot of beach side properties, such as the property recently purchased by the Obamas, would be far more vulnerable to flooding. But how likely is a sudden substantial rise in sea level? The current rate of sea level rise, a few mm sea level rise per year, is unlikely to threaten much. Any property which is so exposed to the sea that a few mm per year of sea level rise could make a difference is a disaster waiting to happen, even without changes in sea level. https://wattsupwiththat.com/2019/11/04/claim-climate-change-will-break-the-housing-market/
Mortgage crisis. Credit crisis. Bank collapse. Government bailout. Phrases like these frequently appeared in the headlines throughout the fall of 2008, a period in which the major financial markets lost more than 30% of their value. This period also ranks among the most horrific in U.S. financial market history. Those who lived through these events will likely never forget the turmoil. So what happened, exactly, and why? Read on to learn how the explosive growth of the subprime mortgage market, which began in 1999, played a significant role in setting the stage for the turmoil that would unfold just nine years later.
Unprecedented Growth and Consumer Debt
Subprime mortgages are mortgages targeted at borrowers with less-than-perfect credit and less-than-adequate savings. An increase in subprime borrowing began in 1999 as the Federal National Mortgage Association (widely referred to as Fannie Mae) began a concerted effort to make home loans more accessible to those with lower credit and savings than lenders typically required. The idea was to help everyone attain the American dream of home ownership. Since these borrowers were considered high-risk, their mortgages had unconventional terms that reflected that risk, such as higher interest rates and variable payments. (Learn more in Subprime Lending: Helping Hand Or Underhanded?)
While many saw great prosperity as the subprime market began to explode, others began to see red flags and potential danger for the economy. Bob Prechter, the founder of Elliott Wave International, consistently argued that the out-of-control mortgage market was a threat to the U.S. economy as the whole industry was dependent on ever-increasing property values.
As of 2002, government-sponsored mortgage lenders Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac had extended more than $3 trillion worth of mortgage credit. In his 2002 book “Conquer the Crash,” Prechter stated, “confidence is the only thing holding up this giant house of cards.” The role of Fannie and Freddie is to repurchase mortgages from the lenders who originated them,and make money when mortgage notes are paid. Thus, ever-increasing mortgage default rates led to a crippling decrease in revenue for these two companies. (Learn more in Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac And The Credit Crisis Of 2008.)
Among the most potentially lethal of the mortgages offered to subprime borrowers were the interest-only ARM and the payment option ARM, both adjustable-rate mortgages (ARMs). Both of these mortgage types have the borrower making much lower initial payments than would be due under a fixed-rate mortgage. After a period of time, often only two or three years, these ARMs reset. The payments then fluctuate as frequently as monthly, often becoming much larger than the initial payments.
In the up-trending market that existed from 1999 through 2005, these mortgages were virtually risk-free. A borrower, having positive equity despite the low mortgage payments since his home had increased in value since the purchase date, could just sell the home for a profit in the event he could not afford the future higher payments. However, many argued that these creative mortgages were a disaster waiting to happen in the event of a housing market downturn, which would put owners in a negative equity situation and make it impossible to sell.
To compound the potential mortgage risk, total consumer debt, in general, continued to grow at an astonishing rate and in 2004, it hit $2 trillion for the first time. Howard S. Dvorkin, president and founder of Consolidated Credit Counseling Services Inc., a nonprofit debt management organization, told the Washington Post at the time, “It’s a huge problem. You cannot be the wealthiest country in the world and have all your countrymen be up to their neck in debt.”
The Subsequent Rise of Creative Mortgage-Related Investment Products
During the run-up in housing prices, the mortgage-backed securities (MBS) market became popular with commercial investors. An MBS is a pool of mortgages grouped into a single security. Investors benefit from the premiums and interest payments on the individual mortgages it contains. This market is highly profitable as long as home prices continue to rise and homeowners continue to make their mortgage payments. The risks, however, became all too real as housing prices began to plummet and homeowners began to default on their mortgages in droves. (Learn how four major players slice and dice your mortgage in the secondary market in Behind The Scenes Of Your Mortgage.)
Another popular investment vehicle during this time was the credit derivative, known as a credit default swap (CDSs). CDSs were designed to be a method of hedging against a company’s creditworthiness, similar to insurance. But unlike the insurance market, the CDS market was unregulated, meaning there was no requirement that the issuers of CDS contracts maintain enough money in reserve to pay out under a worst-case scenario (such as an economic downturn). This was exactly what happened with American International Group (AIG) in early 2008 as it announced huge losses in its portfolio of underwritten CDS contracts that it could not afford to pay up on. (Learn more about this investment vehicle in Credit Default Swaps: An Introduction and Falling Giant: A Case Study Of AIG.)
By March 2007, with the failure of Bear Stearns due to huge losses resulting from its involvement in having underwritten many of the investment vehicles directly linked to the subprime mortgage market, it became evident that the entire subprime lending market was in trouble. Homeowners were defaulting at high rates as all of the creative variations of subprime mortgages were resetting to higher payments while home prices declined. Homeowners were upside down – they owed more on their mortgages than their homes were worth – and could no longer just flip their way out of their homes if they couldn’t make the new, higher payments. Instead, they lost their homes to foreclosure and often filed for bankruptcy in the process. (Take a look at the factors that caused this market to flare up and burn out in The Fuel That Fed The Subprime Meltdown.)
Despite this apparent mess, the financial markets continued higher into October of 2007, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) reaching a closing high of 14,164 on October 9, 2007. The turmoil eventually caught up, and by December 2007 the United States had fallen into a recession. By early July 2008, the Dow Jones Industrial Average would trade below 11,000 for the first time in over two years. That would not be the end of the decline.
On Sunday, September 7, 2008, with the financial markets down nearly 20% from the October 2007 peaks, the government announced its takeover of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac as a result of losses from heavy exposure to the collapsing subprime mortgage market. One week later, on September 14, major investment firm Lehman Brothers succumbed to its own overexposure to the subprime mortgage market and announced the largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history at that time. The next day, markets plummeted and the Dow closed down 499 points at 10,917.
The collapse of Lehman cascaded, resulting in the net asset value of the Reserve Primary Fund falling below $1 per share on September 16, 2008. Investors then were informed that for every $1 invested, they were entitled to only 97 cents. This loss was due to the holding of commercial paper issued by Lehman and was only the second time in history that a money market fund’s share value has “broken the buck.” Panic ensued in the money market fund industry, resulting in massive redemption requests. (For related reading, see Will Your Money Market Fund Break The Buck? and Case Study: The Collapse of Lehman Brothers.)
On the same day, Bank of America (NYSE: BAC) announced that it was buying Merrill Lynch, the nation’s largest brokerage company. Additionally AIG (NYSE: AIG), one of the nation’s leading financial companies, had its credit downgraded as a result of having underwritten more credit derivative contracts than it could afford to pay off. On September 18, 2008, talk of a government bailout began, sending the Dow up 410 points. The next day, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson proposed that a Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) of as much as $1 trillion be made available to buy up toxic debt to ward off a complete financial meltdown. Also on this day, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) initiated a temporary ban on short-selling the stocks of financial companies, believing this would stabilize the markets. The markets surged on the news and investors sent the Dow up 456 points to an intraday high of 11,483, finally closing up 361 at 11,388. These highs would prove to be of historical importance as the financial markets were about to undergo three weeks of complete turmoil.
Complete Financial Turmoil
The Dow would plummet 3,600 points from the September 19, 2008, intraday high of 11,483 to the October 10, 2008, intraday low of 7,882. The following is a recap of the major U.S. events that unfolded during this historic three-week period.
- September 21, 2008: Goldman Sachs (NYSE:GS) and Morgan Stanley (NYSE:MS), the last two of the major investment banks still standing, convert from investment banks to bank holding companies to gain more flexibility for obtaining bailout funding.
- September 25, 2008: After a 10-day bank run, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) seizes Washington Mutual, then the nation’s largest savings and loan, which had been heavily exposed to subprime mortgage debt. Its assets are transferred to JPMorgan Chase (NYSE:JPM).
- September 28, 2008: The TARP bailout plan stalls in Congress.
- September 29, 2008: The Dow declines 774 points (6.98%), the largest point drop in history. Also, Citigroup (NYSE:C) acquires Wachovia, then the fourth-largest U.S. bank.
- October 3, 2008: A reworked $700 billion TARP plan, renamed the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008, passes a bipartisan vote in Congress. (U.S. bailouts date all the way back to 1792. Learn how the biggest ones affected the economy in Top 6 U.S. Government Financial Bailouts.)
- October 6, 2008: The Dow closes below 10,000 for the first time since 2004.
- October 22, 2008: President Bush announces that he will host an international conference of financial leaders on November 15, 2008.
The Bottom Line
The events of the fall of 2008 are a lesson in what eventually happens when rational thinking gives way to irrationality. While good intentions were likely the catalyst leading to the decision to expand the subprime mortgage market back in 1999, somewhere along the way the United States lost its senses. The higher home prices went, the more creative lenders got in an effort to keeping them going even higher, with a seemingly complete disregard for the potential consequences. When one considers the irrational growth of the subprime mortgage market along with the investment vehicles creatively derived from it, combined with the explosion of consumer debt, maybe the financial turmoil of 2008 was not as unforeseeable as many would like to believe.SPONSORED
Start Trading Forex with Spreads as Low as 0.8 Pips
IG, a leading global FX provider, is now available in the U.S. Forex traders around the world have chosen IG because of their award-winning trading technology and 24-hour customer service, as well as currency spreads that are among the lowest in the industry – as low as 0.8 pips. Start trading with a live account in minutes. https://www.investopedia.com/articles/economics/09/subprime-market-2008.asp
1. Men aren’t mind readers.
“Men aren’t mind readers…if you want something, be direct.”
2. Guys are shy, too.
“Guys are shy, too. Don’t be afraid to walk up and talk.”
3. Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.
“Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.”
4. If you want a ‘bad boy,’ expect to be treated badly.
“Don’t tell me you don’t like me because I’m a ‘nice guy’ and that most girls like ‘bad boys,’ and then come looking for a shoulder to cry on when he cheats on you or treats you like shit. Instead, go fuck yourself. I don’t care, because you got what you deserved. Next time, try looking for someone who cares about you, even if they’re ‘too nice’.”
5. It’s not OK to physically assault men, period.
“It’s not OK to physically assault men, period. It doesn’t matter how small you are and how big the guy is. If you don’t disagree, walk away, voice your concern, or speak to the law.”
6. We are just as emotionally complex as women are.
“Men’s emotional lives are, pretty much across the board, just as complex and nuanced as women’s.
Also, there’s a whole ecosystem of subtle communication, competition, and one-upmanship between men (think Alpha/Beta but way more complicated) that is probably largely invisible to you.
We’ve had to navigate through it all our whole lives and sometimes it stinks.”
7. Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too.
“Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too; even just minor ones feel nice.”
8. We are not machines. We are human, too.
“We are not machines. We get sick. We can cry. We can be goofy or funny. We can be weak or scared. We can go limp. We can complain. We can be nice and sweet. Don’t make men out to be machismo meatheads who just walk around looking for sex and expect us to always be strong and confident and take charge on every single little thing. We are human, too. It’s not bad to be a nice guy.”
9. Some of us actually are hopeless romantics.
“That some of us actually are hopeless romantics. We want to find true love, too. Even then we will still make mistakes. Some of us it will be really stupid and think that we want different women just because that’s the way we are programmed. And sometimes it takes something big to make us realize that’s not what we want.”
10. You shouldn’t smack us down for showing emotions.
“• If we open up to you, let us do it instead of smacking us down for being emotional, you’ll have a friend for life.
• Don’t assume what movies teach about men is at all accurate; seriously, my last girlfriend did and was perpetually worried I’d cheat even though I find the concept abhorrent.
• If we’re quiet, it means we’re thinking, not angry.
• We have a strong desire to protect the women in our life, whether that be our wife, our sister, or our grandmother even. We do get overprotective due to an admittedly over-reliance on our ‘gut feelings,’ and we’re aware it’s annoying you, but humor us and you may be surprised with the results.
• A man’s younger siblings are extremely important; do not insult them if you want us to stay. Talking from experience here.
• We worry over our bodies constantly, media bombards us with an ideal you have to work for years to attain and keep, similar to women, let us talk about it if we need to.
• I’ll say it again: IF WE OPEN UP TO YOU, LET US!!! DON’T FUCKING SMACK US DOWN FOR BEING ‘EMOTIONAL’ OR ‘UNMANLY’ FFS.”
11. Rom-coms don’t work in real life.
“You know those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy, but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work in real life. Seriously.”
12. Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis.
“Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis. It’s not a fucking game; sometimes shrinkage happens, sometimes I’m just not in the mood. I know that it’s just a game to you, but for us it’s a really big deal. Don’t know why, don’t care why, it just is.”
13. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, so I won’t treat you like a princess.
“No I won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking for a life partner. My equal.”
14. If you keep asking whether we’re angry with you, eventually we will be.
“On disagreements: Sometimes a man will disagree with you. He has reasons for it. If you present an argument, and he abruptly says ‘OK, fine,’ it means you have convinced him. It probably does not mean he’s angry with you. If you then ask, ‘Are you angry at me?’ and he says no, he isn’t. But if you keep asking, then eventually he will be. Or maybe it’s just me.”
15. Don’t use sex as a weapon.
“If you weaponize sex, that’s a quick way for us to resent you. And of course if you do not want to do it you should not, but if you treat sex like it is some kind of privilege that your guy should only get it if he has been a good boy and treat it like a reward rather than a romantic and intimate activity that is equally pleasurable for the both of you, then that is a great way to kill any affection your guy has for you.”
16. We are afraid of rejection.
“Fear of rejection can be downright terrifying. I am lucky that my wife was direct and asked me out.”
17. Give us the benefit of the doubt.
“Unless we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the options is bad, we meant the good one.”
18. We don’t think about sex every seven seconds.
“Men don’t think about sex every 7 seconds. I read this from some women’s magazine whilst waiting in the dentist’s office. These women’s magazines’ perception of men is ridiculous.”
19. Just say, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ if you don’t want to go out with us.
“My deal is, if I ask a girl out and she’s not interested, saying, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ or a variation thereof is perfectly acceptable. I’ll be more than happy to move the fuck on.”
20. Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our minds.
“Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our mind. You might think we’re having doubts about all this and things are going to shit so you start acting like it and then it gets all messed up and it’s over. The truth is we’re probably just thinking about the last episode of Game of Thrones or something like that. If you want to know, ask!”
21. Nonsense behavior will cause us to pull back.
“We’re perfectly willing to invest, but nonsense behavior will, little by little, cause us to disinvest. That time you said you were upset and when I asked why, you said, ‘Guess?’—I pulled back a little. When you started crying instead of articulating your feelings? I pulled back a little. When you developed double standards regarding behaviors that are okay for you but NOT for me? I pulled back A LOT.”
22. Do not belittle our cocks.
“Unless the guy is super hung, any insinuation that his cock is even a little less than ideal in terms of size hurts a lot. Even some hung guys actually feel like their cock is too small.”
23. Say what you mean.
“If you say something we’re most likely going to take it at face value.
Guy: Hey babe I’m going to go play cards at Zach’s tonight is that all right?
Girl: Yeah, that’s fine, stay out all night, I’m going to bed anyway.
Guy: * Leaves after a hug and kiss *
* Hours later Guy gets an angry text because she wanted him to stay home with her. *
The guy was giving her the option to keep him home and she told him she was fine with it and she was tired.”
24. Mean what you say.
“This game of ‘know what I want without me telling you’ bullshit has got to stop. I’m not a fuckin’ mind reader. I’m not in a relationship/marriage to play mind games. Tell me what’s on your mind or how you really feel, the guessing games must end. Alternatively, if you would rather me not do something, don’t tell me, ‘No, go ahead it’s fine,’ than get pissed when I do it. Just tell me you’d rather me not.”
25. Stop hinting and just tell us what you want.
“Your hints are useless. Say what you want. Also, when we pee sometimes we still get some on the floor. Even as adults.”
26. If you want to see us happy, just get naked.
“Trust me, when a woman is naked, 99% of the time we are happy beyond compare. No matter what you think you look like.”
27. If you’re not interested in the sex, we’re not interested in the sex.
“If you’re not interested in the sex, we’re not interested in the sex. If you’re just going to lie there like a rag doll while we hump away, it gets boring real quick. Fuck, I could go service myself twice as fast with half the exertion if that’s all it’s about. And on a related note, don’t take masturbation personally. It’s a literal physical need for men. Imagine walking around for a week with loaded sinuses and being told not to blow your nose. That’s literally how it feels down there when we’re backed up. Let us relieve a little pressure and get off our fucking backs. It’s not about you.”
28. If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you.
“If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you. If you are getting a lot of maybes and excuses, just move on.”
29. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.
“When a guy is constantly doing all the initiating, all of the oral, and all of the work with no reciprocation, don’t act surprised when he stops calling. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.
I’ve heard a lot of, ‘Well, I do a lot! Like x, y, and z! Just because it isn’t in the bedroom doesn’t mean it doesn’t count!’ Yes. Yes, it does mean it doesn’t count when we’re talking about sex. Doing nice things outside the bedroom doesn’t translate into appreciation for what you’re receiving inside the bedroom.
It’s like giving a dog a treat three days after he brings you the paper. How’s he know WTF you just gave him a treat for?”
30. Bars aren’t the best place to meet the best guys.
“There exist men willing to have serious relationships with you…but those men probably don’t spend their time at bars chatting you up the first time you glance in their direction.”
31. Sometimes we just like to hold our balls.
“Sometimes, when we’re on the couch, we just like to hold our balls. We’re not sexually aroused, we just like to hold them and know they are there.”
32. If you routinely slap your man’s hand away, don’t be surprised if he stops reaching.
“If you routinely slap your man’s hand away when he reaches for sex…don’t be surprised if he gets the point and stops reaching.”
33. We quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings.
“Assuming you’re dealing with a normal male, what we say is what we mean, and what we mean is what we say. Any hidden meanings are a fiction invented by you; we don’t use that channel to communicate.
Conversely, do not use obfuscated communication methods with men for important topics; the odds of us missing or misinterpreting such a communication are high.
Do not talk about problems unless you are prepared to discuss the solution.
If we say we don’t care, we don’t. Especially as regards what we eat. If we say we don’t care, we’re not saying we don’t care who we eat with or whether we’ll eat, only that we don’t care what we eat or where we eat.
We’re generally shit at going to the doctors or dentists. Even in countries where healthcare is free. Remind us to check for cancer from time to time, or do it for us where possible/appropriate.
Our emotions tend to build up over time, as we quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings. Fortunately, they also fade over time without any obvious outlets, so only sustained angst or serious trauma will have a long-lasting effect.”
34. Don’t be nice when rejecting us.
“Don’t be nice when rejecting someone. I’m a grown adult and can handle being told no. Just the other day I asked a girl what her plans were Friday and I got a ‘I work all weekend because it’s graduation weekend, but maybe next time!’
That could be a hint or genuine statement. Don’t leave shit up in the air, just be straight with us because for the love of god MEN CANNOT READ WOMEN’S MINDS.
P.S. If you get mad at me for something I did in a dream (I thought people joked about this until it happened to me), I now think you’re batshit insane and rule number one is never stick your dick in crazy.”
35. We love your big butt in those jeans.
“Your butt looks big in those jeans, and we fuckin’ love it.”
36. We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound.
“We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound. ‘Omg, i love your shirt!’ ‘You are soooo. Funny!’”
37. It’s okay to tell us, ‘No, I would not be interested in going out with you.’
“It’s okay to tell us, ‘No, I would not be interested in going out with you.’ It makes things a lot easier than saying, ‘Oh, sorry I can’t make it my grandma died…my dog is sick…I have to do XYZ.’ Its a shitty hint, especially after having a seemingly engaging string of conversations.”
38. A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.
“A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.”
39. Ignore all romantic advice from rom-coms.
“Every piece of romantic advice you’ve gotten from a rom-com should be jettisoned as fast as possible. ‘Hard to get’ does not work. Subtle hints are not going to be picked up on. There is no minimum waiting period for replying to texts, agreeing to a second date, resuming communication—anything. Put your cards on the table and be upfront. Men don’t hate a woman who says no; if anything, most men will be grateful that they can just move on. The happiest relationship I’ve ever been in began in one whirlwind night: We went from first date to drinks after to apartment in a single evening. I’m going to marry her once my bank balance has room for a ring in it.”
40. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language.
“Men are not fucking mind readers. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language. We play draughts, not chess.”
41. Men don’t drop subtle hints.
“When I ask, ‘Do you know where the remote is?,’ I am not asking you to look for the remote. When I ask, ‘Is this basket of laundry clean or dirty?,’ I am not asking you to do the laundry. When I say, ‘We’re all out of milk,’ I am not asking you to drop everything and go shopping. For fuck’s sake, I’m just trying to exchange information with you. I’m not trying to drop subtle hints that I am unhappy and need you to do something, my God.”
42. Please respect our privacy.
“Oh yes, another thing: If I tell you, ‘Please respect our privacy, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom,’ and you turn around and tell all your friends…I will be upset and the relationship will probably not last.”
43. If you say, ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ we will believe you.
“If we ask, ‘What’s wrong?’ and you answer, ‘Nothing,’ we will behave exactly as if everything is OK.”
44. Don’t try to make us jealous by talking about other guys.
“Mentioning how many guys are going for you/chasing you doesn’t create the narrative of, ‘Oh damn, she’s a hot commodity, better try harder.’ Instead it’s, ‘Fuck, chasing her seems like it would be a lot of drama, better skip this one.’”
45. We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.
“We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.”
46. All men are different and they should be treated as such.
“All men are different and they should be treated as such.”
47. We have feelings, too.
“I know this isn’t what your mother or your schoolteachers or the media told you, but we’re every bit as human as you are, so it’d be nice once in a blue moon if you realized we have feelings, too. Just saying.”
48. We’re not always in the mood for sex.
“Just because we can’t get an erection at a given moment, that doesn’t mean we’re not into you or that we don’t want to have sex. It’s not that simple.”
49. If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, ‘Thank you.’
“If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, ‘Thank you.’ A self-deprecating joke about how we’re wrong is rarely charming.”
50. We’re not interested in playing stupid games.
“We can see through the ‘I’m fine’ bullshit. But if you say it three times, we’re going to let it go. It’s not because we aren’t aware it’s bullshit, and it’s not because we don’t care—it’s because we’re not interested in playing stupid games.”
51. If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends.
“If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends. And it goes both ways.”
52. Just tell us what you want to eat!
“What do you want to eat. pls.”
53. If you want us to do something, just come out and say it!
“Most of us don’t get subtle hints; if you want us to do something, just come out and say it!”
54. We hate when you keep changing your mind.
“One minute you give consent, the next you withdraw it. Make up your mind!”
55. Your enthusiasm is what makes sex good for us.
“What makes sex good? One thing more than anything. ENTHUSIASM. It doesn’t matter how hot you are if I’m banging you and you seem bored. Or if the BJ is like a chore or something. Nothing kills the mood quicker.”
56. We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING.
“We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING. No thought, no music in our head, just nothing. Complete silence in our head. It’s so calming and relaxing.”
57. If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.
“If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.”
58. We can’t predict when you’re going to act like an evil gremlin.
“I’ve never owned a gremlin, so please don’t expect me to understand your feeding patterns and be able to predict when you’re going to become an evil monster because all you’ve eaten was some Melba toast 12 hours ago.”
59. Men have a ‘C-word’ as well that we hate to have attached to us.
“Men have a ‘C-word’ as well that we hate to have attached to us. It’s called ‘Creep’ and encompasses ‘Not my type’ to ‘Level 3 sex offender’ and everything in between. It’s vastly subjective, applied liberally with very broad brushstrokes, and can occur with something as simple as looking past you to the beer menu and occasionally crossing glances. The majority of guys would really only like to: a) talk like adults, b) ask you to please step aside so we can get to the bartender, or c) continue being subconsciously aware of your existence but actively thinking about nothing. Indifference, the ultimate villainy.”
60. We want black and white, so stop giving us grey.
“I read a quote once that said something to the effect of: ‘Guys want black and white and girls can only give grey.’ Please stop making this fucking true.”
61. Don’t look for insults in everything we say to you.
“If I say something to you, and it could possibly be interpreted multiple ways, I didn’t mean the one that pisses you off. Don’t look for insults in everything someone says to you.”
62. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.
“We like to be wooed as well. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.”
63. Women change and men don’t.
“Men fall for women and expect them never to change. But they do. Women fall for men and want to change them. But they don’t.”
64. We’ll probably go with the girl that jerks us around the least.
“A little mystery & drawn-out flirting is good, but seriously, don’t let it go on too long. Most guys are talking to more than one girl. Talking, not banging. And we’ll probably go with the one that jerks us around the least. Also when you asked what we’re thinking about & we say ‘nothing,’ we are not lying.”
65. If we ask you to play a video game with us, that means we really like you.
“If a man asks you to play a video game with him, and actually takes the time and patience to teach you how to play it, he really fucking likes you and wants to spend HOURS of quality time with you.”
66. A man who treats waiters with respect is trustworthy.
“A man who treats people who have ‘lower status’ (e.g., waiters) with respect is trustworthy. A man who does not is not.”
67. Men are actually very, very good listeners.
“Men are actually very, very good listeners. We pay attention to what you actually say. If you say ‘yes’ but you meant ‘no,’ then the breakdown of communication is with you, not us. It’s really not our responsibility to learn what you really mean when you say something completely different.”
68. We think in boxes.
“Our manner of thinking is pretty different from women’s. The best analogy I have heard is that men think in boxes: If you want to talk about camping, we will take out the camping box; if you want to talk about houses, we put the camping box away and pull out the housing box. There is one box that has nothing in it and, if given the choice, that is the box we will go to every time and literally think about nothing. The nothing box is our favorite one.”
69. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we want to do
“Just because we both have the day off doesn’t mean we have to fill it with shit to do. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what I want to do.”
70. Women are hornier than men.
“You are hornier than us. Fuck what they told you. It’s true.”
71. Never, ever call our penis ‘cute.’
“I’m surprised by the lack of penis knowledge most women possess, so here’s some information.
1. When we pee, it’s not this magical stream that starts and stops without dripping, and it doesn’t always shoot in a straight line. It can, and sometimes will, shoot out in multiple directions simultaneously at times. We’re not peeing on the seat on purpose, and it’s as frustrating to us as it is to you.
2. Like the joke by Dane Cook, our penis is kind of like an amoeba. It’s constantly changing shape, and you never really know what he’s going to look like at any given time.
3. To add on to the above post, let’s also talk about shrinkage. When we’re dehydrated, been swimming in the pool, or have just been generally very active, he’s going to be a shadow of himself when released to the world. We’re literally talking 1/3 to 1/4 (sometimes even below) his full size. This is expected, but still a bit emasculating. Be an adult.
4. Never, ever, call him cute. Unless you want to talk about how big he is, don’t say a word.”
72. We are much simpler than you think we are.
“We are much simpler than you think we are. ‘When you hear hoofbeats, think Horses, not Zebras.’”
73. We get annoyed when we find out you told your best friends our confidential secrets.
“We get annoyed when we find out your best friends know everything about our relationship, including the secrets we told you in confidentiality.”
74. GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT.
“GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT. I cannot tell you how often it gets asked on Yik Yak at my university or I overhear girls deliberating over it with their friends if they can ask a guy out.”
75. Don’t look for hidden meaning in what we say.
“That men really don’t have anything behind what they’re saying. Like, if you’re going out to dinner and he says, ‘That’s an interesting dress,’ literally he means it’s interesting. He doesn’t mean that it’s ugly, he doesn’t mean that you look fat, that your hair is ugly, that you have a nasty pimple on your chin, he really just thinks your dress is interesting. All the while you’re overanalyzing what he’s saying and thinking of 400 different meanings to what he said, he’s onto thinking about what he wants to eat at the restaurant.”
76. When we say, ‘I love you,’ we mean it.
“When you say, ‘I love you,’ I’m not always going to parrot it back. The reason is because love isn’t a Pavlovian response. When I say, ‘I love you’ it is with thoughtful intent. I want my ‘I love yous’ to have meaning.
77. Hints don’t work.
“Hints don’t work. If you want something, ask for it. If you expect him to read your mind, you’re going to be disappointed a lot.”
78. Don’t try to make us jealous.
“Don’t try to make us jealous by pretending to like other guys. A lot of guys will just back off if they think you’re into someone else.”
79. We listen to your problems so we can solve them.
“If you ask us for advice, we will give you what we believe to be the best course of action. 90% of the time you will ignore us. 95% of the time you will think it’s stupid. But 99% of the time, it will be the simplest, most direct method to solve the problem. That’s what we do, we listen to your problems to solve them. It’s not what you want, but it’s what you get.”
80. Don’t wait for us to initiate sex.
“If you want to have sex, don’t wait for men to initiate. If a man always has to initiate into sex he will feel like you don’t want it and just do it because you make him feel good but don’t actually feel any pleasure yourself.
Also , when initiating, be pretty straightforward or use very obvious hints because we don’t get it. If you start touching a guy’s dick and he doesn’t understand that you want to have sex, yeah, that’s wrong. But if you give some sort of glance or just say something like, ‘Oh, it’s been a long day’ and we’re supposed to work from there to understand that you want to have sex that’s not gonna work.”
81. A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved.
“A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved, not one who just gets loved.”
82. Sometimes we just like to be alone.
“Sometimes men just like to be alone; it’s not that we’re angry with you or ignoring you, we just like to be alone occasionally.”
83. Don’t tell your friends about our sexual secrets.
“If we tell you something about our sexual history or sexual predilections, it doesn’t mean we actually want to talk about or hear about it every time you think about it. We opened up enough to tell you some kooky, borderline stuff we did in the past; leave it alone, don’t bring it up, and definitely don’t bring it up lightly or use it as ammunition during an argument, and what’s more don’t tell your friends about it. This is personal stuff, and at some point grown-up relationships should be about integrity, mutual respect, and trust—even beyond the bounds of the relationship.”
84. Give us feedback during sex.
“Every vagina and their owner is different. Much like how every penis and their owner is different.
What may work for one, may not work for the other. So during sex, feel free to give feedback. Faster? Slower? Softer? Harder? Let us know what works, what doesn’t. Can we be doing things better? Tell us.
I dated one girl for over a year who told me she didn’t like how I fingered her. Seriously, she didn’t speak up about it for over a year because she felt awkward about it. So she essentially just wasted our time. If I am finger-banging or eating pussy, I’m not doing it for my sake. A little feedback and guidance isn’t going to kill my mood.”
85. Constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes us wonder why we’re actually there.
“Maybe it’s just me, but constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes me wonder why I’m actually there.”
86. If you like a guy, tell him.
“I don’t know if every guy would agree with this, but I don’t think it’s the rejection we’re afraid of. It’s the possibility of looking like some creep/loser if we ask you out and you say no. It’s the way you’ll see us from then on out that makes us afraid. The vulnerability. So honestly, if you like a guy, tell him. No guy should ever have a problem with a girl doing that; there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t make us have to go through the whole fear of asking you out if you already want to tell us yourself.”
87. Don’t blame us for things we do in YOUR dreams.
“Women of the world!!!!
Guys cannot cheat in your dreams!
Three times it happened with an ex of mine. Three times she awoke in a complete strop, of course being the ever caring SO at the time I ask what’s wrong….
Supposedly I cheated with her best friend three times in HER dreams and I’m the one to blame….
I never cheated and never thought of cheating.”
88. We need time with our friends, too.
“Just because I want to spend the rest of my life with you does not mean I can’t have time with friends. Time apart is sometimes just as important as time together.”
89. We shut down because arguing isn’t worth it.
“If we shut down or stop responding during an argument, it doesn’t mean we stopped caring about your feelings or that you aren’t worth talking to or that we’re ignoring you. It means we just don’t want to make the argument worse or last longer than it needs to, because chances are, the argument wasn’t worth the energy to begin with.”
90. Fuck off with the hints.”
(both, the “blatantly obvious” and subtle). We prefer direct, clear communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say.”
91. Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.
“Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.”
92. Our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.
“When we’re spreading our legs, it’s most likely because our balls are uncomfortable. Side note, our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.”
93. We don’t get tired of your boobs.
“We don’t get tired of your boobs. It’s a joy to see them literally every time. The same with touching them. You might not understand it…frankly, I don’t think we do, either. But for straight men, boobs are the physical embodiment of joy. I’ve been with my SO for almost a decade and my eyes still up light every time. I’m not a very emotive person, but she’s noted my look of genuine happiness when I see them.”
94. Don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends.
1. Unless you have a specific reason, don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends. It can be a little insulting. 2. Men are very literal. If we tell you we love you or that you’re beautiful, we tend to mean exactly that.”
95. Even if you hit us playfully, it still hurts.
“Just because a man is physically bigger than you doesn’t mean that punching, kicking, or slapping him doesn’t hurt—even if it’s done playfully. We aren’t trees or rocks. Pain still hurts.”
96. I’m not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy.
“I’m not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy. I feel this goes both ways.”
97. When we break up, please keep the jewelry we gave you.
“When a breakup does happen don’t go trying to give back things we gave to you e.g., jewelry, etc.
A) we find it hurtful, like there is no sentimental value to our time together.
B) what am I gonna do with girls’ jewelry/stuff?
C) it may just end up coming across like you are trying to intentionally cause us pain by giving such things back, like a reminder of your existence.”
98. The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend “chasing” you.
“The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend ‘chasing’ you. If I’m interested, and you’re interested, there should be no reason for you to still be playing hard to get and taking longer than two requests for your time to agree to a date. Either commit or tell me you’re not interested. I’m 30. Dating at this age consists of ‘Are we doing this or not? I got shit to do.’”
99. If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions.
“If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions. That is our way of showing that we have listened and that we care.”
100. We don’t run the world.
“There is a mountain of men that are really struggling. We don’t run the world. In fact, a very large percentage of us will kill ourselves. 79% of suicides are males (US). White males represent 70% of suicides overall.
And yet, not a single candidate seems to be expressing any desire to combat any of this. As have no candidates in decades.
The Men’s Rights movement is something that seems to piss off a lot of people. But this is one of our biggest concerns. Personally, I get very upset when I hear economically debunked wage gap lies perpetrated repeatedly, year-after-year. Wage gap. #HeForShe. #BringBackOurGirls. Mansplaining. Manspreading. Alarming rate of suicide in males? Crickets. Massively disproportionate rates of violent crime? BORING. Schoolboys being burned alive or forced into being child soldiers? #BringBackOurBoys? HA! More like #BringBackMyKardashians, am I right!?
There is a vast lack of perspective missing from today’s social justice warriors, corrupt politicians, and ideologues. Men are struggling. Boys are struggling. Worldwide, even.
In the past week, the woman who once claimed, ‘Women have always been the primary victims of war’ made another sexist plea to further denigrate the worth of male life. In spite of the FACT that women receive 63% (SIXTY-THREE PERCENT) lighter sentences than men for the same crime if they are prosecuted at ALL, Hillary Clinton feels that the criminal justice system is unfair…to women. Because putting women in prison takes them away from their families. And, obviously, men being away from their families is no big deal.
Advocates for the acknowledgement of men’s issues do not hate you, women. But I do hate every last harpy that has shouted down people (men, women, trans alike) just trying to speak about men’s struggles. I do hate the COUNTLESS ‘not-true’ feminists I see littering Twitter with continued attempts to minimize men’s issues, or proudly posting their #MaleTears selfies. I DON’T hate, but proudly champion, the amazing women that ARE trying to bring light to these issues. The kinds of women who DON’T just sit there when their friends are all joking about how men are worthless or only good for one thing (thanks, wife, for calling out double standards).
And that’s why I don’t hate women. Like most MRAs. We love women. We’ve most likely been raised by amazing women, grown up with them as siblings, dated and married them. There are mountains of you that are NOT the problem. But we need your help. We need your cooperation and insistence on fact-based politics, not gender-based. The wage gap continues to be an issue liberal candidates will espouse, in the face of economic and statistical proof to the illegitimacy of the argument, simply because a large percentage of people seem to want to hear it. There is a race, it seems, to victimhood. Who am I to judge most things, but I feel fairly confident in saying that the prevention of male suicide and homelessness deserves more of our airtime, advertising, outreach, and funding than a wage gap myth that is repeatedly debunked under the slightest bit of academic scrutiny (or at the very least, reduced to a range that is within a standard margin of error).
This simple belief will undoubtedly be met with shouts of ‘misogyny.’ I am a misogynist simply for prioritizing a concrete, factual narrative that prioritizes a life-and-death issue.”https://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2016/05/100-things-all-women-need-to-know-about-men-according-to-100-men/10/
Here are 12 common mistakes that guys make with women, which can lead to rejection or a relationship break up.
How many of these mistakes have you made before?
1. Thinking that being nice to a woman is good enough
There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman and there’s nothing wrong with being a good guy, but being nice to a woman isn’t the thing that makes her feel sexually turned on.
For example: When a guy interacts with a woman that he wants to get into a sexual relationship, if he is just being nice to her, that isn’t the thing that is going to make her feel sexually attracted to him. Being nice is not going to make her feel turned on.
She’s not going to say, “Wow! This guy is nice! I want to have sex with him and start a relationship with him.”
What a lot of nice guys and good guys don’t understand is that the majority of guys in this world are good guys. If a woman is attractive, most of the guys that she meets are going to be nice to her.
So, when a guy is nice to a woman it doesn’t mark him out as being special. What marks a guy out as special is when he can trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of her. He can turn her on by what he is saying and doing when interacting with her.
When it comes to relationships, being nice to a woman is also not good enough. If a modern man wants a relationship with a woman to stay together for life, he has to deepen the woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction over time.
He can’t expect that a woman is going to want to stay around and stick with him for life if he’s unable to deepen the love, respect and attraction over time. If he’s doing things that are making the woman lose respect for him or doing many things that are turning the woman off, then he can’t expect her to stick around. Why? The dating and relationship scene has changed.
If you think about how women used to select men in the past, you will realize that the dating and relationship scene has completely changed. In the past, a man would have to be nice to a woman, court her and show her that he could take care of her if they got married.
When he was able to prove that he could support her, he would then need to ask her father for his daughter’s hand in marriage and then the couple would get married and lose their virginity on the wedding night. Generally speaking, most women couldn’t earn their own money in the past and they were almost completely dependant on men for support.
Today’s women can earn their own money and they can have sex whenever they want.
Women no longer select guys simply based on how nice a guy is or how well set up he is to support her. The way that women select men for sex and relationship is now based on sexual attraction first and everything else after that.
If a guy makes a woman feel sexually attracted when he meets her, she will become open to the possibility of having sex with him or starting a sexual relationship. However, if he doesn’t make her feel any sexual attraction, she has no need to be with him.
If a modern man wants to get laid or get a girlfriend, he needs to actively attract women when he interacts with them.
These days, a guy needs to be able to say and do things that turn women on, rather than just being nice and expecting that he’s going to get a chance with the woman because he is a good guy with good intentions.
What a lot of guys don’t realize is that most most guys in this world are good guys.
If most guys in this world were bad guys, then everyone would be locked up in prison or jail and there would be total chaos on the streets. People would be killing each other all day and night, but that’s not the case at all.
Most people in this world are good people and most guys in this world are good guys. So, when a guy meets a woman and is nice to her, it isn’t something that really amazes her. A guy being nice to her is a standard, default thing that she is going to experience with most of the guys that she meets.
There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman. If people tell you that nice guys finish last and that you shouldn’t be nice to women, they are wrong. There is nothing wrong with being a good guy, but what you also need to do is actively make women feel sexually attracted to you when you interact with them.
When you are interacting with a woman, you are either displaying the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women and turn them on, or you’re not. If you’re just being nice to women, you cannot expect them to want to have sex with you or start a sexual relationship with you.
Over the years, some guys have come to my website and said something like, “I’m nice to women…I talk to them nicely, I’m good to them and I’ve got good intentions, but they’re not even interested in me. What is going on? Why can’t they just like me? Why can’t they just see that I’m a good guy and give me a chance?”
The reason why is that it’s not about just being nice to her.
If you think about how we’re raised up as children. We are taught that if we are nice to people they will like us. Teachers or parents often say things like, “If you want to make friends, be nice to people and then they’ll be nice to you and you can all be friends.”
What happens is that a lot of guys end up confusing the advice they got as a child by applying it to their adult life.
Some guys think, “I’m attracted to that woman and I really like her. I want her to really like me, so I’m going to be really nice to her…I’m going to be very polite and very respectful…I’m going to show her that I really, really care about her and then hopefully she’s going to give me a chance to be with her.”
Yet, that isn’t how the dating process works.
Being nice to make her like you as a friend or a person isn’t what needs to happen to get her interested in having sex or a sexual relationship with you. You have to start with sexual attraction and everything else comes after that.
Today’s women select men for sex and relationships based on sexual attraction and then in a relationship, women stay with men who are able to deepen their feelings of love, respect and attraction over time.
In the past, a guy could just get himself a woman and then take her for granted. He didn’t have to worry about deepening the love, respect or attraction because it was shameful to divorce, so women stuck by men for life, even if they weren’t happy.
If he wanted to get himself a woman in the first place, he would need to get a job or show that he could support a woman, be nice to her and then he might be able to get her to say “Yes” to marrying him. They would then lose their virginity on the wedding night.
Yet, that’s just not the way that the world works any more.
In today’s dating and relationship scene, being nice to a woman is no longer good enough. There’s nothing wrong with being nice and there’s nothing wrong with being a good guy, but you also have to be able to make women feel sexually attracted to you based on what you say and do when you interact with them.
You have to display at least some of the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women. The more ways that you are able to attract women with your personality and behavior, the more they feel attracted to you. In a relationship, you have to know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time.
Taking a woman for granted and expecting that she will stick around is no longer something that guys can rely on. Today’s women can leave a marriage or break up with a boyfriend if they want to. They are no longer completely dependant on men, so in most cases, women only stay with men who they feel enough respect, love and attraction for.
2. Being too easily impressed by women
What a lot of guys don’t understand is that there is a difference between how men feel attracted to women and how women feel attracted to men.
Most men feel an intense attraction to a woman’s physical appearance and her physical appearance is enough for the man to want to have sex with her or start a relationship with her.
That is why porn has always been directed towards men. Porn has always been about providing images or videos for men to look at and then jerk off to.
This is also the reason why when a woman is walking down the street, guys will be turning their head and looking at her and thinking, “Oooh, look at that…I’d tap that…I want to be with her…I want to be her boyfriend…I want to have sex with her.”
That instant reaction of being impressed by a woman happens simply based on her physical appearance. Yet, the same rule doesn’t apply to women.
Women can feel attracted to a man’s physical appearance, but what women are most attracted to is how a guy’s personality and behavior makes her feel. There are some women in this world who will only accept a perfect, good looking guy who is tall with a perfect body and also has loads of money. That is true.
However, the majority of women have what I call an Open Type, which means that they are open to being with all different types of guys as long as the guy knows how to make her feel attracted when he interacts with her.
So, the mistake that guys make is that they don’t understand the reality that women live in. Women go through life and if they are attractive, most guys are willing to have sex with them or start a relationship with them simply based on their appearance.
Even if the woman doesn’t have a nice personality or is a bit of a bitch, most guys are still going to be willing to have sex with her simply based on her appearance. After a while, that gets very boring for women; especially attractive women.
What most women want (I say “most” because unattractive women do like it) is a guy who isn’t immediately 100% interested simply based on her appearance. What an attractive woman wants to experience is a guy who can actually make HER feel attracted. A guy who can turn HER on and make her feel like she wants to be with him.
Yet, most guys never give that to women because most guys feel intense attraction to a woman’s physical appearance and then confuse that with their interest level. They are attracted and 100% interested at the same time, without her having to say or do anything to impress them any further.
The guy is already 100% impressed by her and ready to have sex or begin a relationship with her just because she looks good.
3. Thinking that he can buy her attraction or love
There’s nothing wrong with taking a woman out to dinner and paying for it and there’s nothing wrong with talking to a woman and buying her a drink if you’re getting along and enjoying each other’s company.
The mistake is where a guy feels like he can make a woman love him or feel attracted to him by buying her things (e.g. paying for drinks, buying her an expensive dinner, paying for her rent, etc). A guy like that makes the mistake of thinking that it will impress her and make her want to be with him because he is so generous and takes care of her like a princess.
100 years ago, buying women things was a great way to show that you could take care of them and were capable of being the breadwinner and providing for her. However, the majority of today’s women can earn their own money. They don’t need a man to pay for everything for them.
The number one thing that women are looking for isn’t a guy who can pay for a dinner, buy them a present or buy a drink for them. What modern women are looking for is a man who makes them feel sexual attraction and a man that they can also look up to and respect.
Women aren’t looking for a guy who tries to overcompensate for not being able to make them feel sexually attracted by buying them things. Women don’t want to be talking to a guy and thinking, “Okay, this guy isn’t very confident…he’s paying for all these things as a way to hopefully get me to like him” and then not feel much respect for him as a result.
What women are looking for is a guy who triggers feelings of sexual attraction inside of them, makes them feel turned on, makes them feel drawn to him and is also a guy that they can respect.
4. Thinking that attracting her or seducing her is wrong
Over the years, some guys have come my site and said things like, “I was raised up to be a gentleman. I am nice to women and I want to take them out on dates…and if they don’t like that, then bad luck for them. I’m not going to do anything other than be nice to them. I’m a gentleman…I’m respectful towards women and I want to show them that. If they don’t like that, they are crazy.”
What guys like that don’t understand is that women actively seduce men (i.e. by dressing in a sexy way to attract men and then being sweet and nice to men to make them feel like they have a chance) and they want men to actively seduce them.
For women, it’s very easy for them to attract us because all they’ve got to do is dress a little bit sexy, show some cleavage or wear a short skirt to show some leg. They can wear tight fitting pants or a tight skirt, put on some lipstick, make themselves look more physically attractive and then be sweet and nice and most guys will be willing to have sex with them.
It’s very easy for women to seduce men. If you’ve ever been to a strip club, you’ll see that the women in there are not only beautiful and sexy, but they also come across in a sweet, easy-going, friendly type of way. They know how to seduce guys.
Strippers know how to get guys thinking, “Wow! This girl is attractive AND she’s really nice to me. I really like her!” They are experts at seducing men.
However, what a lot of guys don’t understand is that women actually want to meet a guy who can make them feel sexually attracted and then seduces them into having sex. Not in a way where the guy is doing it against her will of course, but where she is feel attracted, is feeling like she really wants to have sex with him and is going along with it.
She is enjoying the process of feeling attracted, seeing the guy build up sexual tension between them and then release the sexual tension together with kissing and sex.
Here’s the thing though…
You won’t hear women going around saying this. Women will usually say things that are the complete opposite to what they want sexually, because they don’t want to come across as being too easy. They don’t want to come across as the “s” word.
A woman doesn’t want to come across in a way where, if a guy gets into a relationship with her, he won’t be able to trust her because she was so open and easy when it came to sex. Most women have to put on a bit of an act of innocence, so they will say things like:
- I want a sensitive man.
- I would never have a one night stand.
- I hate it when a man tries to pick me up.
- I want a nice guy.
- I want a man to show me how much he cares for me.
When guys hear women saying those sorts of things often enough, they begin to believe that the secret to success with women is to avoid trying to attract them or seduce them. Many guys assume that they need to be nice, show the woman how much they care and then hopefully they will get a chance with her.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
You can have sex with most women pretty quickly and then start a relationship with them right away. Depending on the country, some statistics show that up to 70% of women have had a one night stand before…so women aren’t as innocent as most guys assume they are.
Personally speaking, I’ve had sex with more than 250 women and at least 100 of those women I had sex with on the first night. Pretty much all of them said something like, “This is the first time I’ve ever done this…I never have one night stands…I never do this…this is so unlike me.”
Women tend to come across in that way because they want you to be able to trust them. They want you to be able to see them as a woman that you can rely on and trust if you get into a relationship. It’s not easy for modern women because the dating scene has changed. It’s no longer about her saving herself for marriage anymore.
It’s a more complex dating scene now where women can have sex before marriage, but they can’t go around bragging about that, showing it off or talking about it because people will think that she’s an “s” or guys will think that they can’t trust her in a relationship.
Yet, she’s simply adapting to the modern dating environment and so are guys who understand what it actually going on. Many of the men who haven’t yet adapted to the modern dating scene are still thinking that it’s wrong to make a woman feel attracted or turned on when they first meet her.
They feel as though it would be disrespectful to use body language that would make her feel girly and turn her on, or to say things that trigger sexual desire. Yet, these days, you actually need to do it. Women select men for sex and relationships based on sexual attraction.
What a lot of modern men make the mistake of doing is trying hard to show a woman that he is a respectful, nice guy and he has good intentions. He wants her to get the sense that he will wait 10 dates to get a kiss or sex if he has to.
The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with waiting for 10 dates to have sex, but what a modern man actually needs to do when he starts interacting with a woman is make her feel sexual attraction.
Whether he and the woman wait 5 dates or 10 dates to have sex or they have sex on the first night is up to them, but what a guy needs to do is focus on making her feel sexually attracted to him when he first starts interacting with her.
Just making a woman feel friendly feelings or getting along with her as a friend and being nice to her, isn’t the thing that is going to make her think, “WOW! I want to be in a sexual relationship with this guy” because pretty much every guy that she meets talks to her in that way.
The guys who stand out are the guys who give her a little tingle “down there” and make her feel like, “Ooh…mmm…I want to have sex with this guy.” They are the guys who actively turn her on and make her feel sexual desire, rather than just being friendly and hoping that it makes her want to have sex.
5. Sharing his feelings before she is even properly attracted
If a guy hasn’t said or done anything to make a woman feel sexually attracted to him and he then tells the woman that he has feelings for her, it isn’t going to be much of interest to her compared to a guy who has made HER feel attracted first, turned HER on and made HER feel sexual desire.
Then, if he says that he likes her, she feels lucky that a guy that she feels attracted to also likes her. That is what she wants to experience, but most guys don’t allow women to have that experience because they don’t understand the reality that women live in.
Most guys will feel attracted to a woman’s physical appearance and then if she is then nice to him, he might say that he really likes her or that he has feelings for her. He might hint at wanting to be her boyfriend or ask her what she thinks of having a relationship with him, in the hope that he will be lucky enough to get a chance with her.
If he wants to be with her, he has to make HER feel attracted to HIM first. He has to make her experience sexual feelings and then she will actually be interested in the fact that he has feelings for her, because she has feelings for him.
A lot of beautiful women have the same boring experience over and over again when meeting guys and eventually get really annoyed by it. If a woman is beautiful, she will meet a guy and he will almost certainly feel very attracted to her immediately.
Then, if she is nice to him and talks to him, he might feel like all he has to do from there is be nice to her, ask her out and then they will begin a relationship.
After a bit of conversation, he might say things like, “I connect with you…you’re not like other girls…I really like you” and ask her questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” or “Can I take you out sometime?”
He’s going straight for the kill because he feels like her being nice to him means that she is interested in him sexually, but it’s not.
What women are looking to find is a guy who can make THEM feel sexually attracted and then build up the sexual tension to the point where she wants to reveal her feelings for him. She wants to experience the exciting feelings that are associated with wanting to reveal her feelings to the guy.
She wants to feel so attracted that she actually tells him that she likes him or hugs him, kisses him or touches him in a seductive or loving way. She wants to be feeling so much sexual attraction for him that she eventually just says, “I really like you” or “kiss me!” or “let’s go out on a date” or “let’s go home together.”
She wants to feel that, but most guys will never give that to her because most guys do not understand the reality that women live in.
Most guys don’t understand that the majority of guys that a woman meets will have “feelings” for her if she is nice to them. If a woman attractive, pretty or even just decent looking and she talks to a guy in a nice, sweet way, most guys will become very interested in her and hope to get a chance with her. Eventually, many of them will reveal their “feelings” for her.
That is not the experience that an attractive woman is hoping to have. She is hoping to meet a guy who makes her feel like she has to chase him a little, she has to reveal her feelings and hopefully get a chance with him.
6. Thinking that he has to have money or looks to get a girl
Money or looks can definitely attract women, but they are not the only ways that a guy can attract women.
Most guys are not rich, yet they still have a girlfriend or a wife. Most guys are not male models, yet they still have a girlfriend or a wife. In other words, guys without good looks or lots of money, can and do attract women for sex, relationships and marriage.
Back when I was hopeless with women, I assumed that women didn’t like me because I wasn’t good looking enough. I was working in a normal job, so I assumed that they weren’t impressed by that either.
When I saw women happily talking to other guys at bars or parties, I assumed that those guys must be better looking than me, even though the guys were just average or below-average looking guys. I thought, “Okay…well, I guess those guys are good looking to women…and I’m not.”
What I didn’t know back then, but which I eventually realized is that you’ve actually got to spark feelings of sexual attraction when you’re interacting with the woman. Back when I was getting rejected by women, I was walking over and talking to them and asking things like:
- “Hey…how are you doing?”
- “How’s your night going?”
- “What do you do for a living?
- “How long have you worked there?”
- “What’s your name?”
- “How old are you?”
After that, there’d be an awkward silence and I’d be thinking, “What else can I say?!” and I would then run out of things to say.
I’d be thinking to myself, “Why can’t I keep a conversation going and keep it interesting when talking to a woman? Why does it just fizzle out all the time? Why aren’t girls interested in me?”
Back then, I didn’t realize that NOTHING that I was saying was making the women feel sexually attracted. Asking a girl what she does for a living and asking other boring questions like that isn’t something that makes her feel sexually turned on.
It isn’t something that makes her think, “WOW! This guy is so amazing and interesting…I want to talk to him. I’m feeling so attracted to him…I’m feeling so turned on.” Instead, it’s just a standard conversation that she’s had hundreds, if not thousands of times before.
It was only when I realized that I had to actively attract women that I then started to experiment with saying and doing certain things that made women feel sexually attracted to me. When I did that, things instantly started to change.
Women felt attracted to me, I was able to kiss women within 10 minutes of meeting them and then 5 minutes. Then, I started taking women home for sex and enjoying that lifestyle. My newfound ability to actively attract women was now allowing me to have my choice with women, rather than hoping to “get lucky” with a woman.
It was no longer about trying to be “liked” for being a good guy. Now, I was a good guy who was ALSO sexually attractive to women. Being able to make women feel sexual attraction was what made all the difference.
Before I knew how to actively attract women during an interaction based on what I was saying and doing, I thought the reason why women didn’t find me attractive was that I wasn’t good looking enough.
I also assumed that I didn’t have a good enough job. I drove a cheap, average type of car, so I thought that women wouldn’t be impressed by that. I simply assumed that I wasn’t good enough for attractive women.
A lot of guys make this same mistake where they feel as though they can’t attract beautiful women because they’re not good looking enough or they don’t have loads of money. However, the fact is that most guys are not rich and most guys are not male models, yet they still manage to attract and have sex with, or a relationship or even a marriage with beautiful women.
7. Doing whatever she wants in the hope that it will impress her and make her like him
When a guy doesn’t know how to make women feel attracted to him, he’ll often think that solution to get women interested must be to treat women like perfect princesses and do whatever they want in the hope that they are nice enough to “give him a chance.”
He might think, “Okay, I’m going to do whatever this woman wants…I’m going to say yes to whatever she asks of me…I’m going laugh at all of her jokes and buy her whatever she wants. Then, hopefully she will see that I’m a good man and she will like me too.”
Yet, that’s not how it works.
When a woman sees that a guy doesn’t respect himself very much and is willing to say or do whatever he can to hopefully get her to “like” him, she doesn’t feel respect for him. Women don’t feel attracted to guys that they don’t respect. Trying to kiss a woman’s butt by doing whatever she wants is a sure path to a rejection or a break up.
The way to get women to be immediately interested in you is to spark feelings of sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is where the power is. If you’re not actively making women feel sexually attracted to you when you approach them, then there’s almost no need to approach; most women simply aren’t going to be feeling what they really want to feel when they meet a guy.
8. Being annoyed when women test, rather than seeing it as an opportunity
Women test men all the time. It doesn’t matter what level of skill you have at attracting women, making them feel respect for you or making them love you; women will still test you.
An example of a test is where a guy is talking to a girl that he likes and they’re getting along well. Suddenly, she stops showing interest and stops contributing much to the conversation. In most cases, when a woman pulls back her interest like that, she is simply testing the guy’s confidence.
She wants to see whether he is going to feel insecure. She wants to see if he’s going to desperately begin to chase her and confess his feelings for her. She wants to see what sort of guy he really is.
What a lot of guys don’t understand is that a woman’s test is an opportunity to make her feel more attraction. When you can maintain your confidence in yourself and not get flustered by the test that she’s putting you through and just continue to believe in yourself, it actually makes her feel attracted to you.
The same thing applies to relationships. When a guy is in a relationship with a woman, it doesn’t matter how much attraction she feels for him, it doesn’t matter how much she respects him and it doesn’t matter how much she loves him; she will ALWAYS test him.
Why? When a woman tests a man and sees that he is the man, he is confident and he is the masculine one, it makes her feel attracted to him. It maintains her respect for him and allows her to fall more deeply in love with him.
However, if she tests him and he crumbles under the pressure, fails the challenge and can’t deal with it, then he’s most likely not man enough for her.
In the past, women would put up with guys who weren’t able to maintain their attraction and respect because it was shameful to divorce. Yet, whether we like it or not, most women are not ashamed of divorce anymore and simply leave guys who can’t make them feel what they really want to feel.
In today’s world, a guy needs to know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for him over time. If he doesn’t know how to do that, the relationship will most-likely fall apart.
9. Trying too hard to be liked
This is a classic mistake for guys who don’t actually know how to attract women.
They don’t know how to make women feel sexually attracted to them, so they will often use the approach of trying really hard to be “liked” as a guy. He might be a great friend to her, do favors for her and generally “be there” for her.
Yet, that isn’t what makes a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on.
There is a big difference between a woman “liking” a guy as a friend and feeling “sexual attraction” for him. A woman can like a lot of guys that she meets as a friend or as a person, but that isn’t the same as her feeling sexually attracted and turned on by how a guy talks to her and interacts with her.
If a guy doesn’t make a woman feel sexually attracted, it doesn’t really matter how hard he tries to get her to like him; she’s just not going to be feeling what she really wants to feel.
10. Being insecure
Some examples of being insecure are when a guy:
- Approaches and talks to a woman: He might doubt himself, feel nervous or intimidated.
- Is on a date: He might try too hard to impress, appear nervous or intimidated.
- Is in a relationship: He might become overly protective, jealous or clingy.
None of those things make women feel sexually attracted to a guy because women are naturally attracted to the mental and emotional strength of men and are turned off by any weaknesses.
Imagine a world where women rewarded men with sex, love and devotion for being insecure…
Generation after generation, women would successfully breed more emotional weakness into the human race, which wouldn’t help anyone. The most insecure men would get the best women, which might end up turning us into a race of emotional wimps.
Women instinctively seek to breed strength into the human race, not weakness.
Some guys may think that it’s unfair that women find emotional strength attractive. They may feel annoyed that women can’t accept their insecurity, shyness or lack of confidence and just like them for who they are, but it’s just how nature works.
To be successful with women, a man needs to understand the fundamental personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women. He then needs to begin displaying those traits and behaviors, rather than expecting women to go against their natural instincts.
When a guy presents the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women, success with women is simple and permanent.
Women feel naturally attracted to him, without him having to try hard to be “liked.” Women naturally like him and naturally feel attracted to him because he’s displaying the personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women.
11. Not even knowing what to do to succeed
Most guys still don’t even know that it’s possible to improve their skills with women. They assume that if they have failed with women in the past, it means that they are no good with women and can’t really do anything about it.
Most guys also don’t even know that it’s possible to attract women while they interact with them. They are going through life thinking that they either have to be super nice or they’ve got to be good looking with loads of money and then they’ll get a girl.
Yet, it is possible to attract women based on what you say and do. You do not have to be good looking or rich to attract women, get laid, get a girlfriend or get laid. All you need to do is know how to actively attract women when you interact with them. When you can do that, women naturally find you attractive and want to be with you. It’s pretty simple.
Another type of guy who comes to my website is a guy who is having problems with his relationship. The spark has died or his girl has dumped him. When a guy like that arrives at my site, it’s almost always the case that he doesn’t even know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for him.
He’s hoping that if he’s just nice enough to her then that will be good enough, but it’s not.
To keep a relationship together, you have to know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of respect, love and attraction for you. You can’t just be good to a woman and think she will stick around because it’s not enough to keep a modern woman in a relationship.
100 or 200 years ago, women had to put up with not really feeling much respect or attraction for their man. They had to stay with him because it was shameful to divorce, but not anymore. In today’s world, if a woman isn’t feeling more respect, love and attraction for her man and is instead losing respect, love and attraction for him, then the society around her tells her to move on.
It’s unfortunate, but that is the world that we live in these days.
12. Making excuses rather than addressing the real issues
Pretty much every guy who is not succeeding with women has a secret excuse (or a number of excuses) as to why it’s not happening for him. Some guys will say:
- If only I was taller.
- I have to lose some weight first.
- I’m not good looking enough.
- I have to get a better job first.
- I have to go to the gym for a year first and build some muscle.
Yet, what guys like that fail to realize (or accept) is that they always see other guys who don’t fit the mould of being perfect, with a beautiful girlfriend or a wife.
Have a look at these photos here…
Look at this guy with his beautiful girlfriend. Does he look like a guy with a perfect body and a perfect face? What’s she doing with him?
Well, it turns out that they had a family and then they got married.
How about these guys…
They are both very overweight, but they’ve each got a beautiful wife. Most guys are going to say, “Okay, it must be because the guy is rich,” but the guy being rich is not not always the case. Why?
Most guys are just getting by financially or working in a normal job that pays a normal income. Most overweight guys are not rich, but they still can attract and marry a beautiful woman.
Don’t just assume that if a guy who isn’t typically good looking has a beautiful girlfriend or wife, it must mean that he is rich. Most people are not rich. In almost all cases, the guy got her by making her feel attracted and then beginning a relationship with her.
How about these guys…
They are both bald. One has a beautiful girlfriend and the other guy has a beautiful wife. Isn’t being attractive about having a full head of hair? How can these guys get a girlfriend or a wife if they don’t have hair on their head?
How about Asian guys with white women…
How is this possible?
Even Asian guys who are overweight can have pretty white girls. How is it possible?
How about these guys…
These black guys are with white women…
…and here is a white guy with a black woman and an Asian guy with a black woman.
How about this guy with his big ears. Why would she like him?
How about this guy…
He has a funny looking nose. Why is this girl with him, when she could be with a guy who has a perfect, male model type of face?
Do you think that the guys in those photos are better than you? Do you really think that they are better than you and that you can’t attract women?
Here’s the truth…
If those guys can attract women, then YOU can attract women. It doesn’t matter what secret excuse you hold onto for not being successful with women (e.g. looks, height, body shape, race, financial status, etc). If you are not successful with women, it’s pretty simple: You don’t know how to properly attract women when you interact with them.
You most-likely do not know how much POWER you have when it comes to attracting women. The truth is that you CAN make women feel INTENSE attraction for you based on what you SAY and DO when you interact with them. You do not have to hope to get selected based on looks. You can MAKE women feel attracted to you.
If you are going through life thinking that you’re not good enough for attractive women, then you are wrong.
You are good enough.
You CAN make women feel attracted to you.
If you have been getting rejected by women, it means that you have not been making them feel enough attraction for you based on what you are saying and doing when you interact with them. You can change that. You can learn how to attract women properly.
If you’ve gotten dumped by a woman you love, it means that you weren’t doing a good enough job of deepening the love, respect and attraction that she feels for you. You can change that. You can learn how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you in a relationship.
You do not have to get rejected by women when you meet them and you do not have to get dumped out of a relationship. Why? It is possible to be one of the guys who can attract women at will and it’s also possible to be one of those couples that you see who are 30-40 years into a relationship and are still extremely happy.
The couple is more in love than ever before and they still cuddle, kiss, hold hands and laugh together.
That is possible.
Some Important Questions For You
To finish up now, what I’m going to do is ask you some questions about each of the 12 mistakes, so you can work out whether or not you’ve ever made these mistakes with women.
I used to make these sort of mistakes myself, so after I’ve asked you the questions, I’m then going to tell you what I did to stop making those mistakes and start experiencing easy, natural and consistent success with women.
1. Thinking that being nice to a woman is good enough
Have you ever tried using the strategy of being very nice to a woman and then hoping that she “likes” you enough to give you a chance with her?
2. Being too easily impressed by women
Do you behave, think and act differently when you’re talking to a beautiful woman vs. an unattractive woman?
Do you tend to give beautiful women the impression that you would love to be with them, even though they haven’t done anything to impress you other than look good?
3. Thinking that he can buy her attraction or love
Have you ever tried to get a woman to feel attracted to you or remain interested in you by taking her out to an expensive dinner, buying her drinks or buying her an expensive gift?
4. Thinking that attracting her or seducing her is “wrong”
When you talk to women, do you hold back from saying and doing things that will turn them on because you think it would be disrespectful?
Has anyone ever told you that women love guys who can turn them on in a discreet way?
5. Sharing his feelings before she is even properly attracted
Have you ever felt so attracted to a girl that you blurted out how you felt about her, but then she said that things were moving too fast or that she only wanted to be friends for now?
6. Thinking that he has to have money or looks to get a girl
Have you ever felt as though you’re not good enough for attractive women because you don’t look good enough or make enough money?
Have you ever seen guys who aren’t good looking or rich with beautiful women and not been able to work out why the woman is with him?
7. Doing whatever she wants in the hope that it will impress her and make her like him
Have you ever been on your very best behavior in the hope that it would impress a woman and make her like you, only to have her then tell you that she just sees you as a friend?
8. Being annoyed when women test, rather than seeing it as an opportunity
Have you ever thought that women are silly, annoying, frustrating or even stupid for playing “mind games” without realizing that they were simply trying to test your confidence so that they could feel attracted to you or remain attracted to you?
9. Trying too hard to be liked
Have you ever tried way too hard to be liked by a woman to the point where she sensed your desperation and it turned her off?
10. Being insecure
Have you ever felt nervous or unsure of yourself when talking to a woman that you were really attracted to, but then felt confident when talking to a woman that you didn’t find attractive?
Have you ever become jealous, needy or clingy in a relationship because you felt insecure about the woman’s desire for you?
11. Not even knowing what to do to succeed
Do you know how to attract women when you approach them, or have you been approaching women and just hoping to be liked because you’re a good guy?
Do you know how to deepen a woman’s respect, love and attraction for you in a relationship, or have you just expected that a relationship would last because it felt good at the start?
12. Making excuses rather than addressing the real issues
Have you ever decided that you can’t attract women because of your looks, race or financial status, even though millions of other guys similar to you can attract beautiful women?
Have you ever thought that it is impossible to keep a woman happy in a relationship, even though millions of other guys similar to you are able to do it?
So, how many of those mistakes have you made with women? Personally speaking, I’ve been guilty of pretty much all of those, but what made a difference for me is that I learnt how to do the right things.
When I learned how to do the right things, I was then able to attract women when interacting with them. I was able to have sex with women on the first night I met them and I enjoyed my choice with women for many years.
Then, when I was 35 years old, I met my sexy, 20 year old girlfriend and recently, at the age of 37, I got engaged to her and now I’m going down the path of marriage.
I’ve had sex with more than 250 women and I’ve enjoyed having total power, control and choice with women and now YOU can have that power, control and choice as well. You can actually have your choice with women. You can attract women at will, so you can choose the right women for you.
Then, in a relationship, you can deepen a woman’s feelings of respect, love and attraction for you over time.
You can really do that. Yes, you.
Your Success With Women
If you’d like to learn what you need to know to be successful with women, here is what you might want to learn about next:
The first program that I would recommend is my ebook The Flow. This ebook will teach you how to naturally attract women and get laid or get a girlfriend by going through my simple, proven to work, Flow process.
The Flow prevents rejection by ensuring that a woman feels very attracted to you and really wants to be with you before you ask for a phone number, move in for a kiss, ask her out on a date or have sex with her.
Another program that you might want to learn from is The Modern Relationship. This video program will teach you how to create and maintain the ideal type of relationship dynamic that deepens the love, respect and attraction over time.
You are in the position of power and your woman tries hard to impress you, please you and maintain your interest.
The third program I would recommend for you is Make Her Love You For Life.
This is my latest program and teaches you how to keep the love and spark alive in a relationship for life.Watch it now
The more you learn from me, the more skilled you become at attracting women when you meet them and then deepening their love, respect and attraction in a relationship.
The more you understand, the easier it gets.
Instead of trying hard to be “liked” when you meet women, they feel naturally attracted to you and they want to be with you.
Instead of stressing out about losing your woman to another man, you can relax and be confident in yourself and the relationship because the love, respect and attraction is deepening over time rather than fading away.
Author: Dan Bacon
Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert. He knows the secret to attracting and picking up women for sex and relationships, which has allowed him to enjoy his choice of women for many years. Watch this free training and he will share the secret with you. https://www.themodernman.com/blog/12-common-mistakes-that-guys-make-with-women.html
We all have our own unique challenges related to the way we see and interact with the world around us. The good news is that if you really do want to know how to get a girl to like you and be your girlfriend, a lot of your challenges could be avoided by becoming more conscious of the huge differences in how men and women navigate the world.
There are so many ways that otherwise good people mess up what could be healthy relationships.
Believe me — I hear them all — but most of them fit into just a few key categories. For simplicity sake, I want to outline some of the most common relationship mistakes men make to help guys get their girl — and keep her.
Good news: if you see yourself in some of these examples, you can turn it all around make an effort. After all, if you’re married, it sure beats losing half of your stuff, and it can very well make your life a lot more fulfilling in the long run.
So here they are, the 10 biggest relationship mistakes men make, in no particular order:
1. You don’t bring her presence.
No, not that kind of presents. I’m talking about a gift of another kind. I’m talking about the same qualities that make YOU feel good.
You know how it feels when you’re grounded, centred and on top of your game? You’re crystal clear on who you are and what you want. You say what you mean and you mean what you say. You stand firm and you’re unwavering in the face of resistance.
2. You don’t “get” or understand women.
Feminine energy navigates the world via emotion, so sometimes it may appear that she’s all over the place: happy one minute and raging the next. You should know that description falls far, far short of the definition of “psycho.”
While that may be hard to understand when we masculine types navigate by logic and making sense, just trust me when I tell you that you’d do the same if you had her body chemistry.
When you understand that her emotions aren’t irritating interruptions to your boring status quo, but instead a welcome diversion that actually livens up your world and brings you the best things in life like passion, fun, and excitement, you’ll see she actually makes your world better every single day.
Face it: left to your own devices, you’d probably work too much and have a lot less to look forward to on a regular basis. Look at it this way: the masculine experience is kind of like a colouring book drawing: clear, simple, bold outlines that are fine standing alone on their own.
However, they are totally lacking in tone, depth, dimension or colour of any kind. But then the feminine energy brings all the colours of the rainbow to it and it becomes brighter, more vibrant and even radiant.
Sure, every now and then, the darker colours come out and they may even colour outside the lines, but it does make life more interesting. Approach it this way and you’ll have a whole new appreciation for all the gifts your lady can bring to your world.
3. You are scared or intimidated by her.
I hate to even bring this one up, but some of you know it’s true so let’s just get it out of the way. Guys tend to want to be in control and the truth of the matter is feminine energy is all about flow. Men can’t really hold back the “flow” of the tides, and feminine energy can’t effectively be controlled long-term either.
Tougher guys than you have tried to control . A smart man knows how to channel that energy instead.
Sometimes it’s like a storm. It can be a perfectly beautiful day, and the next thing you know, the clouds appear, the skies get dark and all hell breaks loose. Rather than controlling it, you ride it out, respect it, and know it’s all part of the cycle of life.
There’s no sunshine without rain; no happiness without grief; no black without white. The good news is that on the other side of the storm, the sun comes back out, and life is beautiful again.
4. You made other things more important than her.
Feminine energy responds to adoration and praise. She needs your attention and the presence we already talked about. A compliment and your conscious focus will light her up from the inside and you will get to bask in the glow of her beautiful feminine radiance.
On the other hand, because masculine energy tends to be single-focused, targeted and an inseparable part of who you are as a man, you will — on occasion — ignore her, overlook her and maybe even take her for granted while your attention is elsewhere. This is to be expected; especially when it comes to work and providing for her, but just know that like all things, it has to be balanced.
Remember, any time you fail to make her feel special and put something or someone else ahead of her for an extended time, trouble is on the horizon. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
5. You’re oblivious to her feelings.
Now that you know that feminine energy navigates the world via emotion, you’ll need to learn to become consciously aware of how that works or you will struggle in relationships with women. Those are your choices, so choose carefully. I hate to see someone lose half their stuff in order to get that lesson so believe me, it pays to get outside of your own self-absorbed viewpoint and be cognizant of how your partner is feeling.
Do you remember that “single-focused” aspect to men that we already discussed, especially when it comes to work? That’s where a lot of the trouble starts in this area, but it is a learned skill.
By the way, notice I didn’t say you had to “fix” her emotions. They don’t need to be fixed, even though we all think we need to fix problems. You just have to notice them, acknowledge them, and ride them out with her while you support her. That’s not so hard, right?
6. You didn’t build trust or you broke it.
This is an area where men struggle quite a bit due to several factors. We’re logical while they’re emotional so we tend to be way less committed, especially early on. By the same token, feminine energy tends to think she’s in a “relationship” far sooner than men because she processes emotionally. That combination of logic and lack of early commitment often leads to men looking at other options rather quickly.
Whatever mitigating factors may exist, the fact remains that trust is critical for a great relationship. Once it’s compromised or even threatened, it is difficult for two parties to regain it. So whenever possible, I urge you to proceed in this area with caution.
7. You’re too wishy-washy and made her feel unsafe.
This is the flip side of the presence I talked about in item number one. As intoxicating as a strong, present man can be, a wishy-washy guy who’s all over the place can be positively repulsive. It’s a huge turn-off and for good reason.
Feminine energy’s number one need at all costs is to feel “safe.” She can’t feel safe at all if she’s with a spineless, jellyfish of a guy that she can push around. She may act like she wants to call the shots herself all the time the truth is, it is absolutely exhausting for a feminine woman to live in her masculine energy for that long.
Do both of you a favor and step up into being the kind of man she can rely on to look after what’s best for both of you. Trust me, if you do this, you’ll both thank me for it.
8. You’re too self-absorbed.
Masculine energy is heavily predisposed and wired to pursue his mission and achieve goals. He displays his value by his ability to solve problems and fix things. As a result, his needs are often met on the most consistent basis through his work or career.
In fact, one of the biggest red flags of a relationship in trouble is a man who spends a lot of time at work — not because he may be having an affair — but simply because his needs are being met primarily in the sphere of work and not in his relationship.
As I said in mistake number four, any time you put work or anything else ahead of your relationship for an extended time, trouble is on the horizon. Honestly, if you’re not willing to make the effort to manage your work/life balance, you’re essentially being unfair to both a potential partner and yourself.
9. You don’t see the value of what she brings to you.
Usually when someone is far more interested in work, recreational activities or maybe even hobbies, they are simply living in alignment with their deepest values. Relationships — or at least the one you may be in at the moment — simply don’t measure up to the payoff you’re getting in other areas.
People will always invest their energy where they feel they get the biggest payoff. A man who is inspired and supported in his mission by his woman will find a way to have both, but it’s up to him to prove he has the bandwidth to support both.
Remember: You can get all the promotions and raises you want — or land the huge deals that really get your heart pumping — but the question I have for you is: how rewarding is it really if you don’t have someone special to celebrate your victories with at the end of the day?
10. You don’t know what you want out of life.
It’s my hope that after reading this advice on the relationship mistakes men make, you’ll start to focus less on old mistakes from the past, and instead focus more on the new information I’ve shared and how to turn it all around.
The simplest answer is that if you’ve had more pain than joy from your relationships in the past, and it stands to reason that you wouldn’t exactly be in a hurry to try again, but that’s just the pain and fear talking.
No matter what you decide, the reality is that your knowledge, awareness, and efforts are creating the life you’re leading, whether you like it or not. We can all only get so far by ourselves. As you’ll likely hear at many weddings, the beauty of marriage or relationships is that you get to multiply the joy in life and divide the pain when you meet the right one for you.